Congratulations! You’re engaged to the love of your life and now it’s time to start planning for your big day. It’s so important to choose your wedding party based on who are the most important people in your life, but how do you narrow it down to just a handful? First and foremost, I want you to get the idea that anyone who ever asked you to be in their bridal party has to be in yours out of your mind right now. It’s an honor and a blessing to be asked to take part in bridal parties of friends and family, but this whole “you do me a favor I’ll do you a favor” mentality doesn’t work. I like to compare this to Katherine Heigl’s character in 27 Dresses. Jane had been a bridesmaid 27 times. That’s a lot of bridesmaids when she gets married. I realize this is a large over exaggeration, but it is something to stop and think about. Relationships can change over the years and you might not be as close with them now as you once were. Maybe they have moved since their wedding and traveling isn’t as easy for them. Whatever the case may be, please stop and realize that your wedding is about you and your significant other, you job is not to please your best friend when you were 3.
The next thing I would stop and think about is, how big are you planning on your wedding being? Typically bridal parties are proportional in size to the size of the wedding. Yes, at the end of the day it’s up to you, but it is something to keep in mind. If you are having your wedding be around 100 people, you probably wouldn’t want 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. Again it’s up to you, and you should be happy with whomever you selected, but you might want to choose your wedding party size based on the overall size of your wedding. .
I’m about to say something that is non-traditional, but it’s something I’m a big advocate for. Ladies, if there is a guy you are super close with, have him in your line. Men, if there’s a girl you’re really close with, include her in your line. One of my best friends in this whole world is a man, and I don’t think it would be weird at all for him to sand with me. He’s been my best friend since I was 10, our dads were best friends, his brothers are like my brothers. He’s an important person in my life and we have been through so much together that I would love if he was with me. Choose your wedding party based not on traditional expectations, but truly on who are the most important friends in your life.
My last tip is a very important one. Take the time to consider personality. Someone might be a very good friend, but they tend to flake out and cause drama. Is that person one that you want and need at showers, helping you plan, licking envelopes for save the dates, and all of the other duties of a bridesmaid? If you truly can’t picture your day without them, they absolutely should be in your bridal party. Maybe you want them there but you find another role for them to fill, that’s fine too! Your bridal party (both bridesmaids and groomsmen) should add to the feeling of your day, not take away from it.